The Great Escape

“I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen.” - Ernest Hemingway

A leader knows that being a good listener can lead to opportunities to speak words which may powerfully affect other’s lives…and there is always the chance that he might learn something too!

One memory stuck in my mind is of meeting the famous Hollywood leading man, Steve McQueen. I first spied him sitting in the front balcony row of a California church drinking up the speaker’s every word, as he carefully followed along in his own well-worn Bible.

This story had its beginning months earlier. You see Steve had a love for vintage aircraft and to learn to fly his plane, he hired a very gifted flight instructor who was a man of few words. Over the weeks Steve and his instructor spent a lot of time together in the cockpit of his plane. During that time Steve noticed something different about his instructor - so he asked him what it was. Until then, the older instructor had mostly listened to Steve and only dropped in an occasional word of wisdom. But after weeks of patiently listening, he had earned the privilege of saying something very important - so he answered as best he could. That day Steve McQueen found some answers to his quest for personal meaning through the well-placed words of a good listener.

Like a lot of us, for many years Steve thought he had all the answers and was not seeking guidance from anyone. But because a wise man had been a patient listener, his heart changed and he was transformed into an absorbent sponge ready to soak up any advice that might bring more meaning to his life.

You may be familiar with one of the memorable roles McQueen played on the silver screen in The Great Escape. In that movie, he portrayed a soldier trying to get back to safety by motorcycle from behind enemy lines in his escape from a prison camp. In real life, Steve McQueen escaped his prison of hopelessness and futility because someone took the time to listen to him. This quiet listening leader helped Steve to escape the barbed-wire entanglement of frustration which had ensnared him for so long.

A mere two years later, with his body eaten up by incurable cancer, Steve was found dead laying on his bed with a Bible opened on his chest. Because of a good listener, Steve had discovered the inner peace he had been searching for.

“Learn to listen and discover life.”

The King of Virtues

“Forgiveness is the answer to the child's dream of a miracle by which what is broken is made whole again, what is soiled is made clean again.” - Dag Hammarskjold

Coretta Scott King, the wife of the martyred civil rights leader Martin Luther King Jr., was a courageous and strong woman. To me she epitomized forgiveness. When I was living in Atlanta I had the opportunity to meet her and go on a private walking tour of her late husband’s museum. The thing that impressed me most was her ability to resist the hatred and negativity her personal experiences could have fomented in her heart and see how she became a positive force for the sake of the oppressed and down-trodden.

I have witnessed a lot of misery suffered by people who have been abused and hurt by the powers of this world. When we feel we have been cheated by life – we can make a choice either to allow ourselves to become bitter and withdrawn or we can decide to learn from the experience and become better as a result of putting it into our memory bank for future application.

At the age of 16 my parents were divorced and my world seemed to come apart at the seems. I was angry to think that I had been cheated out of my right to be happy. But this was not the end of my life as I supposed. It was merely a temporary detour that eventually helped me move in a very positive direction. Psychologists tell us that it is how we choose to interpret what happens in our life, more than the actual circumstances and experiences, which determines the impact they will have on us. Will our hurts make us bitter or better … we get to decide!

Here is my observation: It is the one who has been wronged who has all the power, not the one who does the wrong. And our power comes in the form of forgiveness. When we forgive we liberate ourselves to live our life more fully. Coretta Scott King discovered that truth early in her life and as a consequence was able to do no end of good for others.

“Forgiveness, in the hands of those who have been wronged, is one of the most powerful forces in the world.”