Expectations

This picture came to my inbox today and got me thinking about “Expectations.” I once saw an interview of Warren Buffet and his longtime partner (who no one has ever heard of) Charlie Munger. The question was asked of them how they got along so well for so many years? They glanced at each other and without hesitation Charlie said,” We have very low expectations of one another.” Wow! There is an insight that everyone needs to understand!

As we approach Christmas, what does this truth mean to us? First it means that God has low expectations of you and me. When God became a man (Jesus Christ), he was willing to sacrifice everything and humble himself in the hope that we would respond to his free gift of love but he had no assurance we would. He had high hopes but low expectations of our desire to reconnect with him as our savior and creator. He gives with no expectation of a return on his investment. He even offers to pay the price of our admission to heaven for free. All we need to do is believe in him.

Secondly, we need to lower our expectations of God. Not because he cannot deliver but because when he does deliver it is always out of love and not because we demand it. We also need to understand that as God, he knows best and therefore does not give us everything we expect or even want because it would undoubtedly ruin our lives. We give ourselves to God with no expectation of what he will do with our life. We simply know that he has our best at heart.

Thirdly, we will get along better with others if we lower our expectations of them. Not only are you imperfect but so is everyone else. Let’s stop judging others by our own standards. That does not mean we expect nothing but let’s realize that there is a lot more going on than we realize and we need to be as generous as possible in expressing our judgment of others. We can afford to lower our expectations of others and it will reap large dividends.

When God became a man over 2000 years ago and lived among us, he gave up all his Kingly prerogatives to show us how much he loved us. In this Christmas Season are you willing to follow his example? This is the secret to a long-lasting relationship with God and others.

“For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.” Luke 2:11-12 King James Version (KJV)

Mistakes

“We made too many wrong mistakes.” ~ Yogi Berra

My life has been plagued with all kinds of miscues and errors in judgment. After almost 60 years on the planet, I would like to think I am getting smarter and that my experience would count for more, but surprisingly it doesn't seem to work that way as often as it should. How are you doing in that department? It’s not that I don’t know what to do as much as failing in the application of my insight. For example, I have always been a kidder and liked to laugh. As a young man this trait often led me into trouble but it also made me the life of the party. On more than one occasion I remember coming home after being with a group of friends and thinking that I had made a fool out of myself by all that I had said. Other times my embarrassment was just a result of a miscalculation in human relations or perhaps insensitivity to someone’s feelings.

I don’t remember ever going out to intentionally hurt anyone or to be mean just for the sake of it. Introspection has been a habit for me. That’s where the lessons come in. After the dust has settled I usually evaluate what has happened and how I could correct it next time. But that doesn't erase the mistake. Some of my mistakes still burn in my heart even years afterward.

It’s not always about relationships or social skills; sometimes my mistakes have to do with money or my job or just priorities. Let’s face it – no one is perfect and mistakes happen. The more I attempt to do, the more mistakes I make. But here is the good news: we are not judged by our inconsistencies but by our consistencies. Mistakes are a part of life but so is forgiveness and redemption.

My mistakes have made me more tender to others and deepened me more than any other thing in my life. So I have become philosophical about my mistakes and learned to embrace them. My scars are actually medals of honor and badges of battles lost and won – all part of the story called my life. I’m not proud of my failures but I value them as part of the process making me into the man I am becoming. There is one mistake I hope I am never guilty of committing; not profiting from my mistakes and allowing them to make me into a better person.

“Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them.” ~ Bruce Lee

The King of Virtues

“Forgiveness is the answer to the child's dream of a miracle by which what is broken is made whole again, what is soiled is made clean again.” - Dag Hammarskjold

Coretta Scott King, the wife of the martyred civil rights leader Martin Luther King Jr., was a courageous and strong woman. To me she epitomized forgiveness. When I was living in Atlanta I had the opportunity to meet her and go on a private walking tour of her late husband’s museum. The thing that impressed me most was her ability to resist the hatred and negativity her personal experiences could have fomented in her heart and see how she became a positive force for the sake of the oppressed and down-trodden.

I have witnessed a lot of misery suffered by people who have been abused and hurt by the powers of this world. When we feel we have been cheated by life – we can make a choice either to allow ourselves to become bitter and withdrawn or we can decide to learn from the experience and become better as a result of putting it into our memory bank for future application.

At the age of 16 my parents were divorced and my world seemed to come apart at the seems. I was angry to think that I had been cheated out of my right to be happy. But this was not the end of my life as I supposed. It was merely a temporary detour that eventually helped me move in a very positive direction. Psychologists tell us that it is how we choose to interpret what happens in our life, more than the actual circumstances and experiences, which determines the impact they will have on us. Will our hurts make us bitter or better … we get to decide!

Here is my observation: It is the one who has been wronged who has all the power, not the one who does the wrong. And our power comes in the form of forgiveness. When we forgive we liberate ourselves to live our life more fully. Coretta Scott King discovered that truth early in her life and as a consequence was able to do no end of good for others.

“Forgiveness, in the hands of those who have been wronged, is one of the most powerful forces in the world.”