“The happiness of a man in this life does not consist in the absence, but in the mastery of his passions.” - Alfred Lord Tennyson
In the West we consider our heart the seat of our emotions but this is not necessarily so in other cultures. For example in Africa it is the liver. So in Africa we would not say, “still your heart,” but rather, “don’t let your liver quiver.” It’s not the words but the meaning that I want to get across; guard your heart!
Our emotions are a powerful force. Do you control them or do they control you? Much evil can arise from our passion or a great deal of good can be accomplished if the focus of our heart is properly directed.
As we mature, we should learn to control our passions; but this discipline requires a philosophical decision we must make well ahead of the practical test. Just as moral spontaneity is a breeding ground for ethical failure, so personal discipline and careful forethought can play an important role in helping us to pre-determine our behavior as we face the challenges of life.
We can lose our leadership in an unguarded moment because we lost our temper. I have seen prominent executives totally blow their reputation and moral authority in the snap of the fingers because of their unbridled anger. Unfortunately it is possible to destroy something you have worked to build up over a lifetime, in a matter of seconds if you let your passions get the better of you.
I once over-reacted to an individual I was directing in a major event. He was accusatory and even insulting in his words and tone. His disrespect was palpable. For a split second I thought,” should I tell him what I think of his behavior?” Before I realized what I had done, I had taken him into a private room and given him a piece of my mind. Well, that was a big mistake on my part. He never forgave me and later even tried to hurt my reputation because I gave in to my anger for just a moment. Even though I was right and won the battle, I lost the war and the moral high ground. My anger made me wrong.
On another occasion, I can remember sitting across the table from a very angry person who dumped a truckload of accusation on me. I felt threatened and wanted to retaliate, but resisted the temptation and kept cool. I told them I was sorry they felt that way and we parted until the heat of the conversation had mitigated. Later, that same individual came to me with an apology and an admission of their own failure in the situation. And in doing so, they told me that my composure had brought them to this realization. My self-control made me right.
I love passionate people but we must learn to contain our emotion through our will and intellect. If we practice thinking through our values and priorities before the adrenaline starts to pump, we can have the mastery over our impulses. Many a high school date has taken a turn towards promiscuity because the couple had not wisely determined what their behavior should be before the windows were steamed up.
Because so few men can control their passions, if you can find a way to channel the same energy you might expend in self-gratification or anger into something positive, you will propel yourself into an elite category of superstardom. Your passion is a steam engine that can be morally neutral and used constructively if you decide that is what you want to do. Use the same energy that would normally erupt as anger or unbridled passion and channel it into a listening and patient demeanor. I absolutely guarantee it will get you a much better result and save you a lot of embarrassment.
“Decide to channel your passions into a positive force in your life.”
In the West we consider our heart the seat of our emotions but this is not necessarily so in other cultures. For example in Africa it is the liver. So in Africa we would not say, “still your heart,” but rather, “don’t let your liver quiver.” It’s not the words but the meaning that I want to get across; guard your heart!
Our emotions are a powerful force. Do you control them or do they control you? Much evil can arise from our passion or a great deal of good can be accomplished if the focus of our heart is properly directed.
As we mature, we should learn to control our passions; but this discipline requires a philosophical decision we must make well ahead of the practical test. Just as moral spontaneity is a breeding ground for ethical failure, so personal discipline and careful forethought can play an important role in helping us to pre-determine our behavior as we face the challenges of life.
We can lose our leadership in an unguarded moment because we lost our temper. I have seen prominent executives totally blow their reputation and moral authority in the snap of the fingers because of their unbridled anger. Unfortunately it is possible to destroy something you have worked to build up over a lifetime, in a matter of seconds if you let your passions get the better of you.
I once over-reacted to an individual I was directing in a major event. He was accusatory and even insulting in his words and tone. His disrespect was palpable. For a split second I thought,” should I tell him what I think of his behavior?” Before I realized what I had done, I had taken him into a private room and given him a piece of my mind. Well, that was a big mistake on my part. He never forgave me and later even tried to hurt my reputation because I gave in to my anger for just a moment. Even though I was right and won the battle, I lost the war and the moral high ground. My anger made me wrong.
On another occasion, I can remember sitting across the table from a very angry person who dumped a truckload of accusation on me. I felt threatened and wanted to retaliate, but resisted the temptation and kept cool. I told them I was sorry they felt that way and we parted until the heat of the conversation had mitigated. Later, that same individual came to me with an apology and an admission of their own failure in the situation. And in doing so, they told me that my composure had brought them to this realization. My self-control made me right.
I love passionate people but we must learn to contain our emotion through our will and intellect. If we practice thinking through our values and priorities before the adrenaline starts to pump, we can have the mastery over our impulses. Many a high school date has taken a turn towards promiscuity because the couple had not wisely determined what their behavior should be before the windows were steamed up.
Because so few men can control their passions, if you can find a way to channel the same energy you might expend in self-gratification or anger into something positive, you will propel yourself into an elite category of superstardom. Your passion is a steam engine that can be morally neutral and used constructively if you decide that is what you want to do. Use the same energy that would normally erupt as anger or unbridled passion and channel it into a listening and patient demeanor. I absolutely guarantee it will get you a much better result and save you a lot of embarrassment.
“Decide to channel your passions into a positive force in your life.”
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