Padawan

“Carve your name on hearts, not tombstones. A legacy is etched into the minds of others and the stories they share about you.”

~ Shannon L. Alder

“Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.” Philippians 4:9 (KJV)

“And the things that thou hast heard of me among many witnesses, the same commit thou to faithful men, who shall be able to teach others also.” 2 Timothy 2:2 (KJV)

MULTIPLICATION

Multiplication is just a very fast and efficient form of addition. If you want to leave your mark in life, this is one math fact which you will want to embrace, because multiplication is the best way to ensure your legacy. It is though the lives of others you invest in as a mentor, that you can have your greatest impact.

We sometimes call a person being mentored - a disciple. A disciple is a person who follows a leader and they do something more; a disciple reproduces themself in the lives of others who come after them. So we have two important aspects of discipleship; copy and multiply. These two ideas can change your life and even change the world! If you don’t multiply your beliefs, practices and experience in the lives of others, they will soon be lost.

Do you remember the Star Wars movies? They tell about a religious sect called the Jedi who had a very strict system of training their understudies called "Padawans." Their whole plan went wrong when they failed to properly mentor and govern one from among their own ranks and he became their nemesis. Darth Vader was a disciple … but of the wrong leader. He became the Dark Lord of the universe as a direct result of ineffective discipleship by the Jedi. I am not saying that if you do not properly disciple those under you, they will bring the universe to ruin - but it is something to think about. What could you be doing right now to properly guide those who look to you for leadership?

The philosophy of reproducing ourself through others relates to raising our children as well as training our employees and the impact we have on any others who may be looking to us for leadership. It is a universal truth that we will reap what we have sown.

I have been blessed to have a series of great men who have invested in my life to guide me when I needed it. It has not always been easy to receive their input but because the relationships were built on love and trust, there was a solid foundation making it easier. We all need to be looking around us for someone we can invest in and for someone to invest in us – it flows both ways. I never met a successful leader who did not have a series of mentors helping them and I never met a wise man who did not seek to mentor others. The choice is yours to take this admonition seriously; copy and multiply. That is the best way any of us can leave a lasting legacy and assure our long-term success.

Essential Insight – “Multiplication is the only math that really adds up.”

What Happened to the Light?

“I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I am not bound to succeed, but I am bound to live by the light that I have. I must stand with anybody that stands right, and stand with him while he is right, and part with him when he goes wrong.” ~ Abraham Lincoln

The light was there first and then came the darkness. We have lost our way and wander in darkness. Unless we seek out the light we will be lost. But where do we go to find the light and how can it be restored so we can all walk in the light continuously and habitually?

The first step is to realize that we ourselves are not the light. That is not to say that we cannot have light within us or that we do not have any good in us at all. But our natural propensity is not to seek out the light but rather we love the darkness more than the light. You see light exposes darkness and we all have some dark secrets and behavior that we would rather not have exposed.

When we are committed to bring the light to those in darkness, we will face adversity. I was raised in a very strict and conservative environment. There is nothing wrong with that and I am not ashamed of it. But my mistake in that early stage of life was to think that those in darkness were somehow not as good as me… and I definitely gave off that vibe. This was very unhelpful in my relationships and alienated me from those who needed what I had access to. So the second step is to realize that we are just mirrors who can reflect the light but in substance we are no better than those in darkness. We are all really the same. If we do not grasp this immediately, we are destined to lose contact with those we seek to serve. Someone has said it best when he said,” we are just beggars seeking to show other beggars where we have found bread.”

The light can be found only on a spiritual plane. It is not the way of the world and the world generally does not operate according to the light. Again, we see many good things in the world and they are useful to us, but we should not be deceived into thinking that the world is friendly to the light. Its systems are dramatically opposed to the light and they will undermine our journey to the light if we do not stay vigilant.

Let’s take the notion of love as an example. I love my wife and she is precious to me. But that does not mean I always act in love toward her in every situation. In fact, most times I act in my own self interest and not hers. I don’t mean to behave in this way nor is it my design, but I naturally slip into this pattern if I am not constantly vigilant.

The third step is to realize that our combined light shines brighter than we can ever shine alone. By that I mean that we should associate with others who have the same values, encourage one another and hold one another accountable to operate in a certain way. Community is essential to light-bearers. We cannot fight this battle on our own and if we try to do so, we will fail. Seek out those who walk in the light.

Lastly we have an obligation to take the light to those in darkness. Most people who walk habitually in the darkness do not consciously understand their plight and will not naturally seek out the light on their own. I have been fortunate to have a series of very committed and wise friends in my life that brought the light to me. At times it was painful when they revealed my darkness to me. They had to be persistent and patient with me and teach me how to be a light-bearer over many years. I can easily slip off the path if I do not stay alert and practice habits that will keep me in the light. Their light exposed my darkness …many times without saying a word. The comparison of my behavior to theirs was often enough to help me see my error. Will you join me in seeking to be a light in a dark world?

“As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.” ~ Carl Jung

Trad'in Up?

Do what you can, where you are, with what you've got." - Teddy Roosevelt

I was raised in the home of a medical doctor. Dad made a good living and provided just about everything we wanted as I was growing up. But the fact is that he and my mother scrimped and saved just to get through Medical school and it profoundly affected both of them and the way our family viewed money. As a result, I don’t waste anything nor am I a spendthrift. When my wife and I first got married, we had more conflict over money matters than probably any other issue – that was 30 years ago and things have changed drastically in the past three decades.

As I was watching TV, I saw an AD for the latest, greatest phone and it occurred to me that I never wear out my phones; I just trade them in on new ones with more and better features - the same is true of cameras, computers and the list goes on. How about you? Our culture is accustomed to “trading up” not “wearing out” the things we use in our life.

What about non-technology like clothes or cars and maybe even relationships? We had some long-time friends who seem to have traded us in on new ones about 2 years ago. When we asked why we didn’t get together anymore, the reply was that they were moving into a different season of their life. It wasn’t just us. They dropped out of church and don’t communicate with most of their old circle of acquaintances. Their decision was very painful and oh so unnecessary.

I see this occasionally in marriages too. One spouse just trades their husband or wife in on a new model. I don’t get it. Well, maybe I can understand getting a new phone, but not a new partner! Figure out how to make your life better by you becoming better, not by ditching those who love you. That will never work, because you will still be stuck with you and that is probably what was broke in the first place… and maybe some of that other old stuff is worth hanging on to for awhile longer? I’m still waiting for my old friends to wake up and come back home.

"Figure out how to make your life better by fixing the old stuff when it breaks."

If I knew Then, What I Know Now

“Let our advance worrying become advance thinking and planning.” - Winston Churchill

When I was a young man in college I never dreamed how important computers would become to all of us. One special guest lecturer who visited our campus was Rear Admiral Grace Murray Hopper (Commander at the time) who was the pioneer developer of the embryonic computer and programming language for the US Navy. I thought all this computer stuff was just for mathematicians and egg-heads. I knew computers would never be of any practical use to me later in life.

I was focused on how I would enjoy my journey (playing sports and dating girls) with little thought as to where the trip would take me. It seems stupid now as I think about it, but that is just the point – I had no real plan. I was a kid who still thought in terms of doing what was fun at the time and did not think about where my daily choices might take me. Well, I grew up and learned many valuable lessons along the way; one of the most important being, that I needed to have a vision for where I wanted to go in life and then focus on how I was going to get there..

A very valuable piece of advice I received in this regard was from a mentor who had worked for many years as a manager in the business world. He shared that even the most daunting task can be broken down into smaller pieces that are more easily doable. In the same way, our life’s goals can be broken into bite–sized chunks that are not so difficult to achieve, one at a time. First, we need to decide what we want to accomplish and work back from there to where we are now to find our starting point.

My highest personal priority in life has always been to be an “impact player.” When I finally got serious about making a plan for my life, I decided to seek out someone who had led that kind of a life and learn from them. So I did just that and one thing has lead to another … and here I am. Notice that I focused on “what” I wanted to do, first and then “how” I would do it… I followed my dream and have discovered that the “steps” have taken care of themselves as I stayed focused on “the vision.”

If I had a plan as a young man in college, it was to never use a computer again once that computer science class was over. Now here I am sitting at my laptop sharing this idea. Isn’t it ironic how our methods can change even when our vision stays the same? If I knew then what I know now, I could have saved myself a lot of the frustration I felt early in life by focusing more on my objective than the methods by which I would achieve it.

“When you make your plans, first focus on where you want to go and then how you go about it will more easily fall into place.”

It Will Wreck Your Life

“Confidence... thrives on honesty, on honor, on the sacredness of obligations, on faithful protection and on unselfish performance.” - Franklin D. Roosevelt

A dishonest life is full of rot and will be exposed, causing us great embarrassment. It is not a question of “if” but “when” will you be exposed? Writers across the ages have exalted the virtue of honesty. Where does this trait stand in your set of values? I am ashamed to admit that I have sometimes struggled with being completely honest. Maybe you have been tempted in this area of your life too.

Years ago, I learned a very important lesson about verbal honesty that is seared on my consciousness – I hope it will help you as it has helped me. A friend of mine wanted to come visit me for the weekend but had responsibilities at his church which needed his attention. In order to get permission to leave, he told the entire congregation that I had been hurt in a car accident and that he was needed at my bedside. Unknown to my friend, someone in the audience knew a girl I was dating and found out that my friend was lying – what an embarrassment when the truth leaked out!

The theory of six degrees of separation says that no one is more than six relationships removed from anyone else. This idea is not just about networking – it speaks to our need to be honest as well. Once we are proven to be dishonest, it is difficult to regain the trust of others. Confess your lie immediately, take back the thing you stole; don’t let it go uncorrected. It will fester and start to erode your character. You will be exposed and humiliated. Face up to your failure and admit that it is wrong. Then you will have healing and restoration. There is nothing so pure and strong as a man with a clear conscience.

“Determine that honesty will be a hallmark of your life and pay scrupulous attention to maintaining it at all times, no matter what the cost.”

The Oscar

“Winning is not a sometime thing; it's an all time thing.” - Vince Lombardi

Who will win the Oscar? It is always a horse race until the very end, but along the way we are given some important clues. Just as in life, the race does not always go to the hardest worker or most gifted. The award sometimes goes to the most popular or charismatic.

When you are recognized for your life’s work, will you be deserving of the accolades you crave or will the ceremony be a sham in which you can take no pride or pleasure? The choice is yours because the path leading to the winner’s podium is cobbled now as you are far distant from the finish line.

Choices; in the beginning we make them and in the end, they make us. What kind of choices are you making today that will lead you into the winner’s circle despite the dictates of popular opinion?

Live according to the promptings of your heart. You know what to do! Even when they are not immediately gratifying, cling to the values you know are correct. Do what is right. Virtue is its own reward. And when the final verdict is rendered, you will know in your heart that you held nothing in reserve. That will be your reward and no one can take it from you.

“If you give your best every day, you will be given the Oscar for the performance your life.”

What Are You Here For?

“To forget one's purpose is the commonest form of stupidity.” - Friedrich Nietzsche

We do not all have the same abilities or opportunities but we all have the privilege of determining the purpose to which we will dedicate ourselves. A wise man once told me that there were only three big decisions that most of us will ever make in life; who are you going to live your life with; what are you going to live your life in; and what are you going to live your life for? It’s that third question that seems to stump most of us. What are you living your life for?

As a college student, I worked for a time in an automotive plant to fund my schooling. It was a very routine job that I found unfulfilling. Most of my co-workers hated their job and talked all the time about how they would live out their retirement doing what they really wanted to do. Unfortunately most folks don't fulfill their dreams in retirement and more importantly - why would we want to wait? I determined right then and there that I would seek to find a purpose for my life that I could live for each day. I wanted something that made me wake up every morning with thankfulness that I was alive.

Have you found a worthwhile purpose for your life? Success has been defined as: “the progressive realization of a worthwhile, pre-determined goal.” Establish a handful of worthy goals in your life and give yourself fully to accomplishing them. In establishing your life-purposes, start with your relationship with God, your family and your work. These top three areas of your life need the most urgent attention.

“Settle on your life-purposes and sell out to accomplish them each day.”

She'll Steal Your Heart

“I can think of nothing less pleasurable than a life devoted to pleasure.” – John D. Rockefeller

Illicit sex and moral laxity are more readily accepted in our culture than they should be. The implications of this permissiveness go far deeper than one might think. Anything that ignites our desires and passions to the detriment of our good judgment and common sense could be considered a harlot who would potentially steal our heart and fracture our life.

Who or what is the harlot that wants to steal your life? What is it that has potential to bring ruin upon you if you give in to its unhealthy attraction? It might be sex, food, drugs, lust for power or influence – maybe it is ambition. The very definition of an addiction is a compulsion to embrace destructive behavior despite its detrimental effects. We have seen this weakness illustrated time and again in the lives of famous men and women who are consumed by some uncontrolled appetite. Is there anything in your life that you find yourself doing no matter how bad the potential consequences may be?

We don’t usually set out to destroy our self. More than likely, we are just trying to have a good time or escape the pressures of our life for a while by having a little fun. Years ago in Wheeling, WV I met a brilliant flame that burned out too early; his name was Roger Miller. Backstage, Roger was about to go out for a performance. He was drunk and smoking like a house on fire. Roger was a man of great musical talent and humor – a gifted individual, but just a few short years later he was dead of cancer at the age of 56. His untimely death was undoubtedly hastened by his bad habits and a fast life lived on the road. What a tragic waste! All the talent in the world could not overcome the harlot of hard living and the reckless pursuit of pleasure.

If we have a clear mission in our life we will not be easily distracted by the sideshows along the way. A lot of leaders push themselves very hard most of the time and in that environment it is easy to tell yourself that you deserve a little break from the pressure. I agree with that philosophy; work hard and play hard. The problems come in the choice of our play. Take time to relax and give yourself some margin, by all means, but don’t do something stupid that could erase all your hard work up to now.

Find appropriate outlets for your recreation that will let you slow down and enjoy yourself but that do not have the potential to destroy you. Take time to think, rest, reflect and enjoy others – all with the thought of building yourself up, not tearing yourself down.

“Don’t give in to your unseemly passions. Learn to have fun without letting it become wreck-reation.”

Protecting Home Plate

“The most important persuasion tool you have in your entire arsenal is integrity.” - Zig Zigler

If I had the space here and you had the time, I would innumerate some of the horrible results of sexual infidelity I have personally observed over the years and chronicle for you how destructive and predictable each scenario has been.

As a young boy, my parents’ divorce devastated me. I was 17 and my brother was 15. Our whole world seemed to fall apart when we discovered the terrible truth that was affecting us so harshly. And it didn’t affect only us; it caused an implosion in the lives of everyone around us. The damage is still evident today – almost 40 years later.

I was a guest on a famous Christian couple’s television set several years ago. As I visited with the various personalities before the program, I could feel how plastic and superficial the atmosphere was in that place but could not lay my finger on why I was catching that vibe. Toward the end of my visit I was told directly that one very attractive staff woman was the “former wife” of one of the other staff on the program who was now sporting a new wife who also worked there. I could not understand how that would be the case in a so-called “Christian ministry” and was very disturbed by the nonchalant manner in which this had been shared with me – like it was no big deal. Months later we all discovered this was only the tip of the iceberg as news came to the public of the fall of Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker’s PTL Club. To me it came as a sad confirmation.

Sexual morality is the foundation of healthy relationships with others. That may seem like an outdated idea but I have seen it proven true over and over again. What a person does in their private life is a strong indication of what is going on in their heart. And what could be more private than the sexual relationship you have with your spouse? If a leader is unfaithful to his spouse, he is unfaithful to all who would follow him. This is so because the marriage relationship is foundational to all other relationships we form in society and mirrors our character.

Whether you entered into your marriage carefully as a responsible adult or impulsively as an immature kid; your marriage is a lifelong promise to fidelity – and leaders keep their promises. Marriage is a commitment to stay with a partner regardless of failure or disappointment and is the greatest example of integrity we have in human relationships. Even if we are single, marriage is the “gold standard” by which all other relationships are measured. It is based on a promise that puts someone else’s interests ahead of our own.

The argument is often proffered, “Why should I spend the rest of my life suffering for a single mistake I made in choosing a bad marriage partner?” I would answer with another question, “Does running from bad decisions, solve them?” No, we solve problems by working through them. And even if we cannot solve a problem, we try with all our resources to do so before we change direction. Then we live with any negative consequences knowing we did everything we could to avoid them. A bad marriage is a terrible thing – we all know that. But in a day and age when everything seems disposable, whatever happened to keeping your word even when it hurts you? I value my reputation for integrity more than my personal comfort.

A leader must be willing to serve his followers regardless of the cost. Leadership, like marriage, is as much a responsibility as it is a privilege and is based on trust earned over time through hard work. If a follower cannot trust you, they will not follow you. Personal integrity is a foundational principal on which your leadership is affirmed.

“Integrity starts at home. Learn to be a person of your word and stick with your commitments even when you no longer feel like it.”

Who's On First?

“Action expresses priorities.” – Mohandas Gandhi

Who or what has first place in your life? Is it your job; a hobby; money; your family; self-indulgence? What is at the top of the list? A quick scan of your personal schedule or check book will give you valuable insight into your priorities.

My dog, Gracie, has only one thing on her mind most of the time – food. She is adorable and I love her but if she had to choose between me and a fortune cookie, I would lose every time. Gracie has a clear sense of what comes first for her.

Because you are not an animal, you have the capacity to rise above your natural instincts. Use your mind and will to take charge of your purpose. Discover and, if necessary, re-direct what drives you. What is at the core of your motivation? Scrutinize your values. That knowledge about yourself can unlock amazing power in your life. Remember the objective is not just to get on base but to score; so a clear game plan is a must.

Granted, we all struggle with establishing the correct priorities and sticking to them. But have you ever methodically articulated the priorities you want to embrace? Are you just going with the currents in your life or are you focused on a worthwhile objective? I suggest you inject a little thought and discipline into the process. If you put the right things at the top, every other aspect of your life is more likely to fall into place as it should.

One possible priority could be to put others first. Years ago, a friend of mine offered to introduce me to Mother Teresa in India. I wanted to meet her because she was probably the most famous person of our time to make other people her first priority. She lived it; she didn’t just talk about it. First we determine the direction of our heart and eventually our hands and feet will follow.

People who put others first will always stand out from the crowd. Try to find a way to channel your ambition and energy into something beneficial to others. Maybe the company you work for can give away the product you sell to those in need. Or you can use some of the money you make to help those who are less blessed. If you are stuck in a routine assignment and find it challenging to relate your profession to helping others, then use your spare time to make a contribution to the world around you. If you set your mind to it, you can be a difference-maker.

We are all capable of doing something noble, even if it is less dramatic than Mother Teresa. It all starts with a sense of purpose deep in your heart. Decide what you are most deeply committed to achieving, make sure it is worthwhile and go for it with all your energy.

"Decide what’s important, give it first place in your life and everything else will fall into line."