Trad'in Up?

Do what you can, where you are, with what you've got." - Teddy Roosevelt

I was raised in the home of a medical doctor. Dad made a good living and provided just about everything we wanted as I was growing up. But the fact is that he and my mother scrimped and saved just to get through Medical school and it profoundly affected both of them and the way our family viewed money. As a result, I don’t waste anything nor am I a spendthrift. When my wife and I first got married, we had more conflict over money matters than probably any other issue – that was 30 years ago and things have changed drastically in the past three decades.

As I was watching TV, I saw an AD for the latest, greatest phone and it occurred to me that I never wear out my phones; I just trade them in on new ones with more and better features - the same is true of cameras, computers and the list goes on. How about you? Our culture is accustomed to “trading up” not “wearing out” the things we use in our life.

What about non-technology like clothes or cars and maybe even relationships? We had some long-time friends who seem to have traded us in on new ones about 2 years ago. When we asked why we didn’t get together anymore, the reply was that they were moving into a different season of their life. It wasn’t just us. They dropped out of church and don’t communicate with most of their old circle of acquaintances. Their decision was very painful and oh so unnecessary.

I see this occasionally in marriages too. One spouse just trades their husband or wife in on a new model. I don’t get it. Well, maybe I can understand getting a new phone, but not a new partner! Figure out how to make your life better by you becoming better, not by ditching those who love you. That will never work, because you will still be stuck with you and that is probably what was broke in the first place… and maybe some of that other old stuff is worth hanging on to for awhile longer? I’m still waiting for my old friends to wake up and come back home.

"Figure out how to make your life better by fixing the old stuff when it breaks."

The Great Escape

“I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen.” - Ernest Hemingway

A leader knows that being a good listener can lead to opportunities to speak words which may powerfully affect other’s lives…and there is always the chance that he might learn something too!

One memory stuck in my mind is of meeting the famous Hollywood leading man, Steve McQueen. I first spied him sitting in the front balcony row of a California church drinking up the speaker’s every word, as he carefully followed along in his own well-worn Bible.

This story had its beginning months earlier. You see Steve had a love for vintage aircraft and to learn to fly his plane, he hired a very gifted flight instructor who was a man of few words. Over the weeks Steve and his instructor spent a lot of time together in the cockpit of his plane. During that time Steve noticed something different about his instructor - so he asked him what it was. Until then, the older instructor had mostly listened to Steve and only dropped in an occasional word of wisdom. But after weeks of patiently listening, he had earned the privilege of saying something very important - so he answered as best he could. That day Steve McQueen found some answers to his quest for personal meaning through the well-placed words of a good listener.

Like a lot of us, for many years Steve thought he had all the answers and was not seeking guidance from anyone. But because a wise man had been a patient listener, his heart changed and he was transformed into an absorbent sponge ready to soak up any advice that might bring more meaning to his life.

You may be familiar with one of the memorable roles McQueen played on the silver screen in The Great Escape. In that movie, he portrayed a soldier trying to get back to safety by motorcycle from behind enemy lines in his escape from a prison camp. In real life, Steve McQueen escaped his prison of hopelessness and futility because someone took the time to listen to him. This quiet listening leader helped Steve to escape the barbed-wire entanglement of frustration which had ensnared him for so long.

A mere two years later, with his body eaten up by incurable cancer, Steve was found dead laying on his bed with a Bible opened on his chest. Because of a good listener, Steve had discovered the inner peace he had been searching for.

“Learn to listen and discover life.”